
Trauma is not
my identity.
Daughter of God, Wife & Mom, Entrepreneur, Soldier & Combat Veteran, C-PTSD Overcomer
Hi! I’m Tenay Benes and this is the summary and timeline of my story.
Today, I’m a thriving daughter of God, wife and mother, entrepreneur, and Army Reserve Officer who lives in Portland, Oregon with my husband, Brett, and our toddler… but I wasn’t always this way and I overcame a lot of adversity to get here. Check out my personal timeline below to see details.
When you read it, you may think to yourself, “Ouch, why would someone share so many painful details about her life?” The answer is, “I hope my sharing vulnerably will allow others to see where they may have experiences similar to mine, and then help them heal from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD).”
Did you know that C-PTSD often shows up through related conditions like depression, anxiety, suicidal ideations, compulsions, addictions, promiscuity, chronic illness, and the like? Treating the symptoms of C-PTSD will give you some relief, but only treating the root-cause of trauma will cure you forever. I have struggled with and received healing for all of these conditions, above. This means you can, too!
“Did you know that C-PTSD often shows up through related conditions like depression, anxiety, suicidal ideations, compulsions, addictions, promiscuity, chronic illness, and the like?”
tenaybenes.com
Personal Timeline
Key:
(-) indicates a traumatizing experience
(=) indicates a symptom of trauma
(+) indicates a healing experience
- 1981-1992: Birth to Puberty
- Born in Turkey to Dysfunctional Family (-)
- Parents Divorced (-)
- Lived With PTSD’d Grandparents (-)
- Moved every 1-5 Years (-)
- Lived in Poverty (-)
- Grandfather Incarcerated (-)
- Watched Friend Die (-)
- Lost Grandparents as Parents (-)
- Mother Married Stepfather (-)
- Immigrated to United States of America (-)
- 1993-2003: Junior High School to Army
- Began STEM Magnet Program (+)
- Was Sexually Groomed (-)
- Began Depression/Anxiety (=)
- Abused Drugs (=)
- Began Toxic Relationships (-)
- Got International Baccalaureate High School Degree (+)
- Got Army ROTC Scholarship (+)
- Toxic Military Fraternity (-)
- Began Compulsive Drinking (=)
- Had Relationship with Alcoholic (-)
- Experienced Military Sexual Trauma (-)
- Began Suicidal Ideations (=)
- Got University Bachelor’s Degree (+)
- Began Promiscuity (=)
- Began Taking Anti-depressants (=)
- 2004-2008: Army Active Component
- First Iraq Deployment (+)
- Combat Stress (-)
- Began Fitness-junky & Isolation (=)
- Toxic Relationship (-)
- Denied for Special Operations (=)
- Salvation with Yeshua (+)
- Second Iraq Deployment (-)
- Toxic Work Environment (-)
- Medical Evacuation (-)
- Wounded Warrior Internship (+)
- 2008-Present: Dual-track Life
- Got University Masters of Business Administration Degree (+)
- Started Work as Human Capital Consultant (-)
- Started at Masters Degree in Seminary (+)
- Toxic Relationship (-), Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (=), Fired from Consulting (=)
- Left Seminary, Moved into Parents’ House (=)
- Holy Spirit Visions & Prophecies Began (+), Healing Prophecy Began (+)
- Toxic Army Work Environment (-), Left Command (=)
- Healthy Army Work Environment (+), Army Professional Education Courses (+)
- Marriage Prophecy Began (+/-)
- Holy Spirit Baptism (+)
- Healing Prophecy Fulfilled (+)
- Moved to Germany (+), Returned to Active Duty (+)
- Deliverance Prayer & Personal Inner Healing Prayer Began (+)
- Healing Prayer Began (+)
- Personal Daily Deliverance Began in Europe (+)
- Began Prayer, Social Media, & Street Ministry (+)
- Returned to America, Met Future Husband (+)
- Marriage Prophecy Fulfilled (+), Pregnancy Prophecy Began (-)
- Pregnancy Prophecy Fulfilled (+)
- Moved & Returned to Active Duty (+)
- Began Healing from Marital Codependency (+)
- Major Trauma Integration Complete (+)
- Speaker/Author/Influencer Prophecy Began
- Sexual Trauma Healing Began (+)
- Hello, 2024!
Traumatizing Experiences
“Having parents who divorced? Moving a lot? Watching my mom be hit? Watching my dad drink a lot? Living with a sibling who was sick? Being regularly spanked or hungry? Being called ‘lazy’? Why do you say these normal experiences are traumatizing?” Well, my healing journey with God led me to the Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, the World Health Organization’s International Classification of Disorders, and some great resources by mental health professionals; they all agree with what God told me about these experiences being traumatizing.
Some experiences cause a little bit of trauma (like moving) and some cause a lot (like being sexually molested). Usually, the timing, duration, and context of the experiences decide whether it will cause acute PTSD (resulting in one major dissociation) or complex PTSD (resulting in many dissociations). Generally, the earlier, the longer, and the more numerous your traumatizing event(s), the more complex your PTSD will be. Check out this blog for more information.
A Message of Hope
If you’re struggling with the effect of one or more of these traumatizing experiences (-) or their symptoms (=), I have a message of hope:
God is for you,
Tenaybenes.com
and if God healed me,
God can heal you, too!