2025 was the year of ADHD in the Benes household. My hidden ADHD revealed itself when I started getting bodywork from Claire Darling, LMT (some Bowenwork, some myofascial trauma release, and some other magic that Claire does). Her work released deeply engrained fascial patterns from my soft tissue, which in turn released the associated processing patterns in my brain. The results in my body were phenomenal: greater relaxation and movement. The results in my brain were troubling: inability to start, complete, or stop tasks (something I never struggled with before).
As I dug deeper, and chatted with ChatGPT, I discovered the most likely scenario: that Claire’s bodywork released an adrenaline-based coping mechanism I had developed to scaffold/make up for hidden ADHD. I basically willed myself to be highly task-oriented from early childhood (because I only got love when I did what people wanted me to do). That adrenaline-based scaffolding helped me do things even when I didn’t have enough innate motivation to do so because I was afraid of losing love.
When the effects of Claire’s bodywork layered on top of the perimenopause (that reduces adrenaline sensitivity) I had been experiencing for the past ten years plus the major PTSD episode I had in mid-2024 (that eats up attacking stores), it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
My adrenaline-based ADHD masking could no longer keep up, and I inadvertently unmasked hidden ADHD that I have apparently had my whole life.
Unmasked Adult ADHD
The change in my behavior was:
- Surprising.
- Inconvenient.
- Absolutely life-altering.
The effects were stark!
For the first time in my life, I couldn’t do things I “wanted” to do even though I had physical energy to do them.
It felt like, “I just can’t empty the trash can. It’s trash day, I want an empty trash can, but I just can’t make myself do it. WTF is wrong with me?!!!”
Apparently, I was experiencing a freeze-response as a result of having a high mental load and not enough dopamine. This happens when I am truly unmotivated to do something, and I physically can’t get my body to do it even if my life depended on it.
Learning the Science
As you can imagine, this changed my whole life, so I continued my research, first by buying an ADHD magazine, then by following some ADHD coaching socials, then through online research, and finally synthesizing what I learned by chatting with ChatGPT. The pieces finally started fitting together.
It turns out that ADHD is caused by an earlier-than-normal brain bloom in the right (emotional) brain that has delayed or limited pruning compared to neurotypical children, as well as a less-than-normal brain bloom in the left (logical, task-oriented) brain. Brain blooming and pruning are how children make developmental leaps like those explained in the amazing “Wonder Years” research study (that book saved my and my husband’s sanity when our child was an infant). Brain cells in specific brain regions grow at a fast rate (blooming), then die off or stay intact based on exposure to certain stimuli (pruning). This is a normal part of children’s innate neuroplasticity.
But with ADHD (just like with ASD and AuDHD), this brain development gets interrupted; this is why people with these disorders are called “neurodivergent”. This is also why ADHD, ASD, and AuDHD (ADHD and ASD combined) are called “developmental illnesses”.
So… how does this happen? I currently believe brain development can get interrupted not only by chronic stress (possibly even in the womb) as well as childhood trauma, but also by environmental toxins like electromagnetic radiation as well as toxins in our food, personal care products, air, and medicines.
Redefining the Issue
I hate symptom-based naming of disorders because it leads care professionals to focus on symptoms and not root causes. Therefore, I redefined ADHD by its root cause: ADHD is a dopamine regulation disorder (just like diabetes is a glucose regulation disorder).
Dopamine motivates people to do things and gives them rewards for having done things. Slow dopamine (called tonic dopamine) affects a person’s routine ability to start tasks. It can be increased by slow living: nature walks, exercise, humming and singing, etc. Fast dopamine affects a person’s sense of accomplishment artificially, through fast living like screen time, infinity scrolling, fast music, candy, novelty, flashing lights, and so on.
In order to heal a person’s dopamine dysregulation, you have to replace fast dopamine with slow dopamine. Some people call this a dopamine fast, a dopamine detox, or a dopamine replacement protocol.
Dopamine Replacement Timeline
There are several phases of the dopamine replacement protocol. Each phase is shorter for a neurotypical person and longer for a neurodivergent person like someone with ADHD.
The first month or so is phase I (which I call the withdrawal phase) in which the person stops doing one or more fast living tasks (like screen time, fast music, cartoons, biking, scooters, adrenaline-causing sports) and starts replacing them with slow living tasks that increase oxytocin and show dopamine (like art, calming music, podcasts, rhythmic exercise, breathing, doing one job that you want to do even if small). It is marked by low slow dopamine and low executive function.
At first, it can feel like withdrawing from an addictive substance like cigarettes or alcohol. A person feels moody, crabby, sensitive, grumpy. It sucks. Everything sucks. Everyone sucks. The person feels miserable. Fortunately, this grumpiness can be offset by oxytocin—bonding hormones—increased through hugging, kissing, holding hands, sex, and the like.
The next month or two is phase II (which I call improvement without control). It is marked by higher slow dopamine, low executive function, so the person is always looking for things to do and, if not directed into slow living tasks, can easily reverse all the good progress by getting into fast dopamine tasks.
Then, around months four to six, phase III (new normal) is marked by high slow dopamine and high executive function. This is where a person wants to be, but they have to guard it by keeping a mostly slow life afterwards.
Our Status
I am somewhere in the murky waters of phase II. I’m experiencing less ADHD symptoms but still have continued emotional swings and low-dopamine freezes. We are not quite there yet, but we are working on it.
Next time, I’ll tell you about how I’ve also been healing my ADHD burnout.
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