We Don’t Get to Be Here Long

In the name of being-transparent-to-encourage-others-healing, it’s been a rough time lately in the Benes house. Our rhythms have been changing as I’ve been focusing on getting more me-time in so that I can give to others out of the overflow of my heart and not out of an empty love-tank. Change—even good change—always leads to a crisis: when old habits collide with new values, tempers or tears will surface until either the change is accepted by all affected or fully abandoned by the source.

In that vein, I left the house in tears this morning, leaving behind an angry husband, and a crying toddler. It was not pretty. By the time I got to the cafe, I was livid with the situation! God told me to tell him what I wanted:

“I want happiness! Happiness in myself, my marriage, my family, my work, and my community. I’m tired of being stuck in this half-healed place that always hears of God’s promise of wholeness but never quite tastes it. I need you to get us unstuck!”

“I CAN DO THAT,” said the Lord.

It Started With a Song

I began to listen to music as I worked on my paper. The song that started resonating super strongly in my heart was “BE HERE LONG” by NEEDTOBREATHE. It got my attention so much that I listened to it over and over again for the next eight hours.

These lines hit me so hard:

I gave you the best of me
Loved you more than anything
But we don't get to be here long

When the day comes
And the fire is out
I wanna know that
I gave you all, I gave you all I had
When the day comes
And the fire is out
I wanna know that I gave you my everything

The Holy Spirit was speaking to my heart so loudly: “YOU DON’T GET TO BE HERE LONG! IT’S TIME TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL—EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY—UNTIL THE FULL GLORY OF THE LORD IS RELEASED UPON AND THROUGH YOU INTO THE WORLD.”

It Moved Into Power

By the time I was back in my car headed home, I was sobbing at the thought of either losing my husband or my daughter and having regrets about not giving them my everything while they still lived. I remembered that we are not promised tomorrow and if I want to separate from them in this life with peace, I need to give them my all now.

Within a few minutes, the Holy Spirit was upon me and I was in full-blown deliverance mode (while driving): sending away every spirit of doubt that God’s best was not possible in my life, and every spirit of procrastination that it may be too hard to try to get there today so I should put it off until tomorrow. Then, I began declaring God’s specific promises over my life and my family—screaming them really—in between huge sobs of tears. I’m really thankful for auto-pilot navigation because I was probably not paying attention to the road at all. Thanks, Tesla!

Then Into Partnership

When my husband got home later this evening, I told him all that happened and as I was sharing my testimony, the Holy Spirit came upon me again. So I asked him to take communion with me and we prayed it out for over an hour. We sent every uncleanness, sickness, and emotional build-up out of our bodies and into the bread—the body of Yeshua still hanging on the cross—and then we ate it. We then received into our bodies the wine—the blood of the Lamb of God, which has the life of God—in exchange, and then we drank it.

Tears, shaking, and shouts came out from both of us as we prayed. I could feel my body getting set free of shame, fear, envy, trauma, sorrow, and every unclean thing, as well as heart disease, thyroid issues, and musculoskeletal problems, among others. It was so powerful!

We concluded it’s time to level up in our prayer life and communion time together, because this is a pivotal season for us and for the world. We can’t sit back and wait for God to do something. God is waiting for us to make the next move.

And Onto Encouragement

Isaiah 40 says that bodies are like grass: they are here today but wither and are gone tomorrow.

We have got to make today count, while we still can.

We don’t get to be here long.