“Now, I’m ready for our next chapter!”
TenayBenes.com
The Status
On Day 22 of our #40daysoffaith adventure moving from MD to CO on the word of God, we began our new life in Colorado with a visit to a local church, came home to a wow nap-date, and closed out the evening with a powerful prayer session.
When my husband and I got home after visiting a church, our daughter was already sound asleep in her car seat and, by the grace of God, slept soundly for three hours. That meant that we got to have a date for the first time since we got on the road, and we got to connect as husband-and-wife for the first time since God stepped up my sexual trauma healing–over one year ago! For the first time in my life, I did not experience any fragility, fear, confusion, coldness, anger, or powerless submission when in a sexual situation. It turns out that the healing God gave me last week not only fixed symptoms of trauma that were affecting our daily interactions but also our sexual intimacy!
(To be clear, this sexual trauma was not caused by my husband; it occurred pre-Brett. However, because he has been a safe-and-loving sexual-and-relational partner, the sexual trauma made itself evident in our relationship, so that it could be healed. This is a very common way that trauma healing starts.)
At the end of our date, my husband reached his hands up to God and proclaimed in a half-kidding-half-serious manner, “Now, I’m ready for our next chapter!” 🤣
The Takeaway
I’m sharing this very personal moment with you all for two reasons: 1) very few people talk about sex in a healthy way, even fewer about sexual trauma, and even fewer about how sexual trauma affects marital sex; 2) I want you to know God has a way to heal sexual trauma.
“Yahweh hears [those who] cry out and strips them completely of their distress. Yahweh is near to those who have a heart-in-pieces and pulverized spirit. The righteous are in great misery, but Yahweh strips them out of it all." - Psalm 34:17-19 (from the Interlinear)
Do you know what “heart-in-pieces” means? It means traumatized! When someone experiences a distressing event that causes more fear than they can handle, a piece of their heart (AKA their subconscious thoughts) breaks off (AKA dissociates) and gets stuck in that fearful moment forever. When this happens many times, that person’s heart is in pieces.
But God always has a way for us to heal from trauma!
The Prayer
God, thank you so much for faithfully walking us into the healing we needed to enjoy the sexual and emotional intimacy you created for us to enjoy with each other. It has been such a long road, and we are weary. Please redeem the time we have lost with even greater enjoyment and closeness. Amen.
The Challenge
What is your #40daysoffaith adventure and how did Day 22 go? How has God come through on another promise that has given you a second wind?
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