“It is in the waiting that you create the space you need to succeed.”
tenaybenes.com
Transitioning between seasons can be a tough experience. The tug-of-war between “almost there” and “not yet” can feel frustrating to even the most seasoned transitioner. Whether you’re a teenager anticipating your “launch” into young adulthood, but feeling overly constrained by the youth-oriented limitations still in place from your parents, or whether you’re a pregnant mom anticipating your birth with both impatient excitement and anxious worry, transitions can make a soul feel like it’s being pulled in opposite directions.
I do not believe anyone one of us can avoid it. The question is, “How will we make the most out of tough transitions?”
Waiting sucks, but…
Waiting sucks. At least, that is my personal view of the experience of waiting. I once heard someone share about someone who felt the peaceful anticipation of waiting on God. “That’s nice,” I thought as I quietly declared that mystery person an anomaly in the universe; and, “That certainly isn’t my experience.” Yet, when I remind myself of the benefits of waiting for something we want to experience, it helps me reduce the tug-of-war.
The benefits of waiting I have discovered to date include:
- Creates space in my heart, mind, and life to receive the good thing I want–thereby reducing shock or trauma from the good experience
- Increases the total joy I experience when I receive the good thing I want
- Promotes care and protection of the good thing I now have, so I won’t lose it
- Helps me wait more patiently for the next good thing I want, because I remember that the waiting was worth it
Good things can cause trauma
I want to expound on the first bullet above, a little more. You may or may not know that positive experiences can still cause trauma in people, especially people who are prone to the dissociation of trauma. Any experience that drastically changes a person’s life can be traumatizing including:
- A new job
- A new house
- A new marriage
- A new baby
- An unexpected loss of any of the above
My husband and I have first-hand experience of this from our friends-to-marriage experience. Although we had been friends for over nine months, we only had a three-week dating period and a one-day engagement period. The, BAM! We were husband and wife! It took us months after our marriage to adjust to the reality that we were no longer going to be who we were before (at least, the single versions of ourselves). It was tough! A longer engagement may have reduced the shock of it all. That’s when I learned a crucial lesson: It is in the waiting that you create the space you need to succeed.
What about you? Any positive experiences shock you so deeply that you had to get some healing from them?