Catching Up On Family

This morning, I asked God why we were living in a 176 square feet camper when God promised us land and a house if we came to Colorado. I was surprised at God’s response.

“You’re catching up,” said God.

“Catching up on what?” I asked.

“On your family,” God replied. “Remember when you felt like you were missing out on your kid’s life because you were at work all day for the past two years?”

“Yes, I remember,” I replied, as I saw a picture in the movie-screen-of-my-mind of me in one room and my baby in another because I felt ill-equipped to parent her well in her tantrums.

“And you’re also catching up on your marriage,” said God. “It’s been a long two years of learning how to be separate so that you can come together in a healthier way.”

And again, I saw a picture in the movie-screen-of-my-mind of my husband and me sleeping in two separate bedrooms as we worked through healing from sexual trauma and codependency.

It felt so lonely.

“But now, you’re together,” said God. Instantly, the tears began to flow. I cried and cried until I woke my husband up (because it was three o’clock in the morning). He asked me why I was crying as he hugged me. “I don’t want to move into a big house where we can hide from each other and problems!” I replied. “We were so far apart for so long in our last house, even though we lived together,” I followed. “God says we are gonna catch up on our family and our marriage while we live in this camper, and we need it!”

Then, I cried until two years of sorrow over our sense of loneliness-despite-being-together was all cried out.

That’s when I was able to get back to sleep, knowing that God had brought us here and put us in this situation in order to answer our prayers for a close-knit and intimately-loving family.

It turns out it takes a journey to build a happy family. We will do whatever it takes.