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Self-care in Community| Community Articles

Last night, I went out with my friend’s 10 year old daughter to get our nails done. This is something we have done together for the past two years and we both look forward to it immensely. Here are three reasons why it may make your life better to do the same:

1. Being with other people’s kids feels easy compared to your own

“But I’ve already got my own kids to deal with! Why would I spend my free time with other people’s kids?” Well, you probably see from how your own kids treat others that they are NOT the same person outside the home as they are inside. For most kids, this usually means they are more polite to and cooperative with other adults. It also means other adults can choose to have a limited but only refreshing type of relationship: like one of an encourager, a mentor, or a shoulder to cry on. It’s much easier to feel like you’ve accomplished something with someone when you’re not in charge of their entire life—just their next three hours. Trust me, you may love it!

2. Parents need self-care to be good parents

My husband and I are SHOCKED at how non-existent the self-care plans of our fellow parents are in our communities. No date-nights, no regular nights off, no friend-dates, nothing! Only once in a while, when one parent is about to burst have we heard of a solo vacation—but just enough to exit the crisis zone and go back to barely surviving.

Not us! We learned that lesson the hard way. Today, we each take one one hour off a day as well as one night and one half-day off per week to do whatever we want for ourselves (the other provides free childcare). Then, we have one date night, and one family day each week, too. Everything else is fluid.

That means that when I want to invest in my friend’s kid, I already have time reserved on my calendar to do so. We can get a mani-pedi if that’s what she and I want to do… and doing such luxurious things with a ten year old who thinks it’s the most amazing thing in the world is just pure fun!

3. Kids need 5 healthy, non-parent adults in their corner

I heard this psychological conclusion that the average adolescent needs five healthy, non-parent, kid-centered adult relationships to become a well-balanced adult. Man! How many kids do you know who have that? My kid has one, two, three of those and we’ve been recruiting for two years! If I want my kid to have the blessing of adult relationships, I have to be willing to be a blessing to others’ kids, too.

It Takes a Whole Village

In our segmented society, it seems like it has become harder and harder to connect with our neighbors and build community… but it is NOT impossible. We just have to be creative and be the change we want to see.

What about you? What is your favorite way to build community?

2 responses to “Self-care in Community| Community Articles”

  1. […] the kid and the car for another five hours. We spend evenings and weekends all together (except for one night off that we each get every […]

  2. […] do people survive without taking regular time off from family responsibilities?!” As I shared in another post, I don’t know of a single family with young kids in which the parents schedule self-care time […]

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