…but it sure seems to be solving my current issues with discontentment! Let me explain.
Growing up in the household I did meant that correction and/or criticism was the primary reason my parents spoke to me, directly. I, in turn, internalized a highly performance-oriented value system for myself and others. Since it took a ridiculous amount of effort to get praise from my parents, I also concluded that no one else’s work was ever good enough to get praise, either. That’s been a tough habit to break—but I am getting there!
Breaking that habit did NOT start with practicing praise. Rather, it started with seeing how I had been hurt, and acknowledging those wounds. It continued with giving myself permission to grieve the parents I wished I had but never did. Then, it moved onto seeing myself the way God sees me: infinitely valuable even when I have nothing to offer anyone. Only then could I get to practicing thankfulness as a lifestyle to rewire my brain.
But here I am! Lately, this is where God has been leading me. When I feel discontented about the state of something, I FIRST start speaking out loud all the things about that situation for which I am thankful.
Did my husband forget to do the dishes? I am THANKFUL that he cooked, which caused those dirty dishes, THANKFUL that we have food, and dishes, and a home in which to have a dirty dish problem, and THANKFUL that I have a loving husband in said home.
Did our nanny not assemble the cloth diapers? I am THANKFUL that we have a nanny, THANKFUL that we found cloth diaper inserts that keep our baby’s bum dry, THANKFUL that we have a baby whose organs work properly so that she can dirty those diapers, and THANKFUL that we have a stash of disposable diapers when the laundry monster takes over!
Did I forget to pay a bill, thereby causing a late fee? I am THANKFUL that we have the service that charged the fee, THANKFUL that I have money to pay the bill and the fee, and THANKFUL that I can learn from this mistake for the future.
To be clear—this is NOT my norm. But I am practicing, I am learning, and I will let thankfulness wash my brain clean from the effects of continued criticism in my life.
Leave a Reply