“I’ve finally concluded that I’m a good mother… but I wonder whether I’ll ever become a great mother…”
TenayBenes.com
Today was that kind of day: the kind of day in which I had to tell myself, “It’s only a little bit of poo”; the kind of day in which I literally gave my daughter the shirt off my back, because she had gotten poo all over her clothes right as we got to the store; the kind of day in which I was both happy to be with her again—after a four day trip away—and overwhelmed by being with her again, all at the same time.
When my agitation came to a head, my husband kicked me out of our camper by saying, “You need to get out of here. Go for a walk or go down to the river. Just do something for yourself before you come back.”
So… here I am, at the river—wearing my fabulous hat and dress, but feeling much less than fabulous—wondering if I’ll ever get used to the incessant energy and attention required by a three year old.
I’ve finally concluded that I’m a good mother—a mother who genuinely wants what God wants for her child—but I wonder whether I’ll ever become a great mother—a mother who has the wisdom, understanding, and patience to actually help her kid receive all that God wants for her.
I honestly don’t know, but I know I will keep trying until I figure it out or die in the process.
But first… I will breathe for 30 seconds, while I listen to the sounds of river. Join me.
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